Is There Such a Thing as Healthy Control?
Healthy control almost seems like an oxymoron. Yet, as contradicting as it sounds, there can be a perspective or understanding to this concept. Allow me give this a try…
We all know that controlling most anything, in my opinion, is stressful, counter-productive, and impracticable. Think about it, controlling a child or controlling thoughts or controlling the amount of food we eat especially while dieting for example, is pretty much impossible for any length of time. Think about other things you’ve tried to control. How did it work out for you?
Control usually means suppression, and by suppressing, “we ignore, forget, or to the extreme, eviscerate the truth of a situation.” (D. Chopra) Control doesn’t have to mean suppression. Other words come to mind such as channeling, integration, communing, or regulating. For example, while you are in the rhythm of, say, healthy eating, try using terminology for success such as “regulate my eating” rather than “control my eating.” I remember when my son was young. He’d ask for junk food. My response was, “sure.” But for anything he ate that was unhealthy, he had to choose three healthy foods to eat as well. This is an example of integration.
Remember, there is a danger in trying to control something. That is the thought pattern behind it, which may be a negative emotion that can keep you spiraling out of control. Rather than taking on the identity of thought patterns, move through the thoughts and channel them toward knowing who you are objectively and subjectively. Here control may become healthy. By mastering a skill or trying to make personal changes try to observe or recognize yourself outside the negative emotion. ~Jean Marie
With questions or for dialogue, contact me.